Sep 22

Pansexuality and Me: Defining the term for me.

Morning my lovelies!

I was part of a release day party recently (thank you, Kayelle Allen) and was asked a great question that I thought I’d comment on here, to you, my lovely readers and friends. I was asked, after I posted my shorted bio, what pansexual was. I was surprised as I more often get asked what genderfluid is (and why I write it as one word, lol).

**Just in case you haven’t seen it, here’s my updated “short” bio:

Homo-Erotic Romance Author, Tempeste O’Riley is an out and proud pansexual genderfluid whose best friend growing up had the courage to do what they couldn’t – defy the hate and come out. He has been their hero ever since. A hopeless romantic who loves strong relationships and happily-ever-afters, Tempeste counts their friends, family, and Muse as their greatest blessings in life.

Tempe’s preferred pronouns are they/them/their/theirs/themselves. Learn more about Tempeste and their writing at http://tempesteoriley.com.

I have been asked this a lot lately, and think my answer from RainbowCon at one of the panels I was on fits best. Pansexual is really being people-sexual. It’s not binary, i.e. about liking men and women. It’s not about the bits or the presentation of the person you are with. It’s truly about the person within ONLY.

Gleaned from Wikipedia… Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, is sexual attraction, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity. Pansexual people may refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others. pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women, and pansexuality therefore rejects the gender binary, the “notion of two genders and indeed of specific sexual orientations.”

Pansexuality flag.svg
Pansexuality flag” by KiwiNeko14 – Web archive of pansexualflag.tumblr.com.
Licensed under Public Domain via Commons.

Now, for me, I don’t care what bits you have under your clothes, what gender you were born, present as, feel today, tomorrow, yesterday, etc. I only care about the person you are inside. That’s what makes you sexy, what makes me desire you.

Now, that may not be how other may answer you, but for me… that’s who and how I am. I’d love to hear what others have to say. Are there any others here that are pan?

How would you describe what being pansexual is?

About the author


Tempeste O’Riley grew up in the deep south and escaped her conservative, oppressive roots as soon as she could. Tempe is an out and proud omnisexual/bi-woman whose best friend growing up had the courage to do what she couldn’t – defy the hate and come out. He has been her hero ever since.

Though new to writing M/M, she has done many things in her life but writing has always drawn her back – no matter what else life has thrown her way. She counts her friends, family, and Muse as her greatest blessings in life.


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