May 17

Hop for Visibility, Awareness, & Equality!

Welcome to the Hop for Visibility, Awareness, & Equality! In years past this was called the Hop Against Homophobia, Transphobia, & Biphobia but they have a new name and a new mission statement (I love the new focus!) In fact, their mission statement is (find here):

“The mission of Hope for Visibility, Awareness, and Equality is to foster an environment of inclusion and positivity within the LGBTQI+ community. We hope to bring awareness to discrimination and celebrate our diversity not only within the community at large but within our own genres and books. We also hope to engage authors, readers, bloggers, and artist to get involved in ending discrimination while promoting visibility, awareness and equality for all sexual orientations and gender identifications.”

Click here to visit the official host site!

Once again I’m proud to be taking part in this very, very special hop to help supports the International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia on May 17th. If you’ve been part of the hop before then you know there are several people and publishers connected to this—see below to find them and check out all their great posts and see what they have on top for the HOP.

Today I’m going to touch on a topic that will probably not make me too many friends, even within community, lol… the the not gay/lesbian, not straight, not male, not female, but not IDing as Bi or as Trans or as Queer NB people. Yes, we exist 🙂 No, it’s not a phase. Yes, we have a real need for visibility, awareness, and equality.In Honor of.. We are the Gender Fluid, Pansexuals! Now, you don’t have to be one to be there other, I just happen to be both and get so tired of the hate and lack of understanding/awareness surrounding both.

Tell someone you are Bi (too many have no clue what pansexual even is, so going with Bi for simplicity sake with those that don’t need to know as detailed info about me…) and you told you’re going through a phase, that your just haven’t come out yet and need to stop hiding, that you aren’t datable because you would just cheat (no, cheaters cheat, one has nothing to do with the other!), blah blah blah. Or you become a fetish type… “oh, so you’ll let me bring a girl to bed with us? Hot!” Um, no, that’s not what I said. Ugh!

Try explaining Pansexuality and wow, that messes with people. I often tell others that I’m ‘people-sexual’. I don’t care what bits you have or how you present, if I’m attracted to the person as an individual, not a body, then I’m attracted. You don’t even want to hear some of the nasty questions that have followed that explanation. :/

Say you’re Gender Fluid and you tend to get blank stares, or at least I do. “You’re what now?” “What’s that?” “So it’s like being part-time trans?” (Yeah, that last one always throws me. It’s not part-time anything, thanks. And how insulting to both Transgender and Gender Fluid people, ugh.) And on….

The ones that hurt the most aren’t the bigots outside community, but within. It’s the ones that say claiming to be Bi or Pan is a copout or that it’s hiding. That it’s a phase or that I’m hurting the gay rights movement by not really coming out as a real Lesbian (as opposed to what? A fake one O.o). The ones that shun Gender Fluidity. Even if I only liked women (which isn’t true), I still wouldn’t be a Lesbian as I’m Gender Fluid, lol, but oh well.

We don’t only need to fight Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia, etc. in the outside world, we often need to do so still within ourselves. How much of the hate and crap we were taught is still in there somewhere, tainting us? How often do we let our own lack of understanding get in the way of learning, of new friendships or relationships? Of our own happiness? How often do we hurt others and not even mean to?

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, & Biphobia. I challenge you to not only do at least one thing to help someone else, but to do a little soul searching to see if you still hold onto any of these phobias or confusions, and if you need to maybe see about educating yourself a little more about the others under the rainbow.

Now, on to something a little more fun! The giveaway part, YaY!…


  • First Prize: 1 random winner will get a donation to their charity of choice (within community or that supports community) in their name in the amount of $25.
  • Second Prize: 2 random winners will get an ebook from my backlist.

Comment on this post about a challenge you’ve overcome in respect to the theme Winking smile Remember, make sure to add your e-mail addy or I can’t contact you to give you your prize!

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    • debby236 on May 17, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    I was very upset when my daughter came out to me in an email. I worked hard on communication and now she can tell me everything. She was afraid we would reject her. We already knew

      • TempeO on May 17, 2016 at 6:34 pm

      Cia email would be hard as the parent but at the same time I understand from the kids point of view. Being afraid of being shunned or rejected is terrifying. Been there done that. Glad you were so open and willing to embrace your daughter!

    • H.B. on May 17, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    Great post! I’ve not met anyone who identifies as pansexual and I liked that you made a post to bring awareness to those who do.

      • TempeO on May 17, 2016 at 6:33 pm

      Thanks. <3 help 🙂

    • AM on May 18, 2016 at 8:26 am

    *high five* Fellow gender rebel and multi-sexual! (I usually just say “queer,” but if pressed then bi and gender fluid or genderqueer.) SO MUCH YES to the lack of understanding and being “part time” or “not fully whatever.” Also, 10 points to Griffyndor for hinting at the in-fighting among multi-sexuals and the lack of awareness even in ourselves. Whether one IDs as bi or pan is truly more about what feels right to the person, not what anyone else tries to define us as. <3

    • Miya K. on May 19, 2016 at 6:40 am

    Thank you so much for taking part in the Hop.

  1. you are you <3

    • susana on May 20, 2016 at 7:35 am

    I must recognise sometimes I get lost with all the new coined terms related to sexuality, but I do understand the concept behind Pansexuality and really like the idea of being attracted to people, not to genre. Thank you for your interesting post!

      • TempeO on May 20, 2016 at 8:02 am

      It can get a little confusing at times period, I agree . However in this particular case, pansexual definitely is more me. It’s not about liking male or female, it’s about liking people. That’s why I said it’s really people- sexual, at least in my case, lol. Thanks for reading.

  2. Thanks for participating. I may have trouble grasping the concept of being pansexual, but it’s like everything else, if if works for you, then go for it. I do have some friends who are pansexual and they are very patient with me. I love them dearly and nothing will change that. I don’t have to understand to accept.

      • TempeO on May 20, 2016 at 11:17 am

      LOL. It’s like how I have trouble with how anyone could only be attracted to one gender. How could only one form, one type of person be all there is for you (general you, not you specific lol)? To me that seems odd and so limiting. But if that’s what is riggt and true for you, then that’s what and who you are. I don’t have to agree or be the same, just respect you for who you are.
      Thanks for reading and for the great response!

  3. My daughter identifies as pansexual. Love her the same today as the day before she told us. If anything, I’ve learned more about her by who she’s chosen to have in her life and love. I’ve found out that she loves without judgment and finds people who make her…and us…laugh like crazy. Maybe one of the best gifts ever.
    Thanks for sharing your story. Your passion for the subject is very clear and you made me think about calling my daughter and having brunch tomorrow to get some laughs and love in my life.
    Fellow hop stop blogger, please don’t include me in your giveaway, but great prizes!

  4. I think love shouldn’t have to come to come attached with a label or that you need to be attracted to one sex or the other. Being attracted to someone because of who they are, sounds like the right way to go, really.

  5. Tempeste,
    Love-love-love your post. For purely selfish reasons. I’m pansexual and genderfluid also, and have only recently come to understand this about myself. So it’s extremely encouraging to hear others say, “Yeah, me too. This is real. You’re not alone.”
    Cherie Noel, Hop Admin

    • sherry1969 on May 23, 2016 at 12:48 am

    Thanks for being part of the hop.
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

    • Juliana on May 23, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    Thanks so much for participating in his year’s hop.

  6. It astounds me when people within our community turn on each other. We have all faced hate and ignorance from others, we don’t need to tear each other down as well. I hate when people try to tell me that I should just have sex and that’ll make me stop being an asexual, especially when it’s coming from people in the community who I thought were my friends, who I supported when they were told that they should just try sleeping with someone of the opposite gender since it would stop them from being gay. Thanks for having the courage to speak out about this and educate people about what being pansexual actually means.


  7. I came to terms with being non binary (genderfluid) last year. There is such a lack of talk about gender which can be even more confusing than sexualities so thank you for touching that topic!

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