May 17

Hop Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia: Breaking through the walls we build

Morning ya’ll! Today is the start of the Hop against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia! If you click on the button to the left, you will go directly to their page, but never fear, if you read to the end you will also find all the other lovely authors involved in this hop so you can participate!

The participants are offering prizes, yes, that means me too Winking smile, and if you’re up for a little bounce and travel, some reading on the topic, and playing along, then you can enter to win the prizes and maybe enjoy the journey a bit.

Before we begin, I thought I’d go head and let you know what I’m offering up for one lucky reader/commenter (the giveaway extends from Sunday, May 17th, to Wednesday, May 24th!)
* One copy of any of my eBooks from my backlist. Yes, it’s the winner’s choice—of book, and format
* Anyone who comments on THIS POST is eligible to win.
* Winner will be chosen by Mr. Random at 10 pm on the 27th.
* Winner will be announced in a separate post.
* This will not be the only post I make during this hop—on this topic—but you must comment on THIS POST for a chance to win. (Don’t worry, I’ll remind you in those later posts about this one.)

ho·mo·pho·bia noun \ˌhō-mə-ˈfō-bē-ə\
Definition of HOMOPHOBIA:
An irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals

* The same goes for biphobia, transphobia, and so much more.

Yes, you read that right. The official definition says it’s an irrational fear or aversion to US. To people being whom they were born to be. And while I’m not sure I agree (hate isn’t fear, it’s being an ass hat and hiding behind religious, societal, etc. excuses to hate, abuse, and even kill others) I will thank the dictionary for admitting that it’s irrational.

We as a society do the most harm to the individual. It’s that simple, yet it’s so much more than that. Humans like things in boxes. The problem is that so many people don’t fit in those boxes, the ones that others deem acceptable or real. Yes, we even argue over which boxes are valid, not just which ones we want to accept as okay.

I have to say a big Hell No to those that try to not only put me in boxes, but also tell me which boxes are real. I was recently asked what it is that draws straight women to read M/M books and I had to answer that I had no clue as I’m not either of those things. I am a omnisexual/pansexual (even less believed in that being bi :/ ) and genderfluid person. I happen to have been born with female bits, but that does not mean that’s who or what I am.

Boxes are things I both love and hate. Love them for storing things; hate them when others try to classify me. I’m not homosexual enough, being bi/omni/pan. I’m not straight enough, being bi/omni/pan. I’m not male enough, being I have girl parts. I’m not female enough, being I have many, many male days. I’m not trans as I have many girl days. I’m not cis, as… I have many boy days. And then you have those that don’t believe Bi even exists (your belief in me does not invalidate my existence, I promise).

Now, my experiences may skew my worldview, but from others I’ve met, the political fights going on across this, and many other countries, and the thousands of blogs and people out there, I don’t believe I’m unique. Instead of boxes and walls, we need to focus on the individual. Why does the body matter so much to others? And why do others feel they have the right to categorize, and then often dismiss, others?

Don’t assume what the person you are speaking to or about is what you think they are. That beautiful woman may be struggling because her body isn’t what matches her mind and spirit. That handsome man may have been born a woman. That pretty boy you assume is a gay twink might just be a straight man. And that big butch man? Yeah, he just might be a happy, dedicated bottom.

We build the walls that imprison us, and only we can make the change needed to tear them down. Take a moment to look around you and check out the walls and boxes you live in. Are they right? Are they restrictive? Do they even truly match who you are inside?

We are many individuals, not one singular society. We have many hearts and lives, not one collective experience. Never allow yourself to be placed in a box or hidden behind a wall—that goes for the boxes and walls we build ourselves. You can only be who you are, to be anything less would be to betray your very soul. Never let others (or self) force you to be something you are not.

We are individuals. We are people who have hearts and souls. We love, laugh, live, fight, and die. But we are not merely the labels others give. I am who I am, and that’s enough for me. If it’s not for others, that’s their loss as I will not hide my soul or allow others to hide it for me.

Want to Hop along?…


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  1. Couldn’t put it any better. 😉

    • waxapplelover on May 17, 2015 at 2:17 am

    I loved this post..the definition really struck me in the beginning. Because really, what is there to fear about anything or anybody that is different?

    • pat mackley on May 17, 2015 at 3:01 am

    Ignorant people are everywhere. When are they going to realise that being different is not going to hurt them.

  2. Another eye opening post! Thank you so much.

    • debby236 on May 17, 2015 at 8:38 am

    These are great posts. I wish everyone would read them.

    • suze294 on May 17, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Another heartfelt post, thanks Tempeste

    • Angela on May 17, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Thanks for this post and it is so true we humans are our own worst enemies, so sad really.

    • Jewel on May 17, 2015 at 11:46 am

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and providing great info. It couldnt have been said better.

  3. As a woman in her 30s who is just starting to figure out why I never quite fit in, this post inspires me to keep trying. Thank you, Tempe, for sharing from your heart. <3

  4. Well said. Thank you.

  5. Great post! Tweeted.

    • KimberlyFDR on May 17, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Thank you for your post and participating in this blog hop.

    • melissakeir on May 17, 2015 at 5:07 pm

    My aunt was a lesbian during the time when those things weren’t talked about. I didn’t understand until many many years later exactly what was going on. My two brother in laws are both gay. They have partners yet aren’t allowed the same freedoms that many other couples are allowed. Sure makes me wonder why we need to put things in boxes!

    • Cornelia on May 17, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    Thanks for the informative post and Hop.

    • Alaina on May 17, 2015 at 7:07 pm

    Thanks for the great post and participating in the blog hop!

    • Katherine on May 17, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    Thank you for your post. It seems a human tendency to put other people in boxes.

    • Ree Dee on May 18, 2015 at 12:19 am

    Thank you for the great post! All this just makes me sad to see all the hatred in the world.

    • Trix on May 18, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    I don’t know why we can’t let people be themselves, full stop!

  6. Thanks for the great post and participating in the blog hop!

    annmarief115 at gmail dot com

    • DS Kenn on May 19, 2015 at 5:12 am

    You’ve described it perfectly. I had commented on another’s post, trying to convey exactly that. I fit into no box, and I like it that way. After spending so many years trying, I’m me now. And it is completely irrelevant to me what people think. They don’t need to be okay with it. They really don’t need to give how I identify a second thought. Great post!

    • Shirley Ann Speakman on May 19, 2015 at 9:42 am

    That was a wonderful post and thank you for the Giveaway.


    • JT on May 19, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    way to go! 🙂

    • H.B. on May 20, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    Great post. Thank you for taking part in the hop!

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

  7. great post! thanks for being part of the hop


    • bn100 on May 23, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    Thanks for joining; nice post

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

    • sherry1969 on May 24, 2015 at 10:29 am

    Thanks for such a wonderful post.
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

  1. […] Tempeste O’Riley (M/M, BI, Genderfluid, TR) […]

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    • HAHABT on May 17, 2015 at 10:43 pm

    […] Tempeste O’Riley (M/M, BI, Genderfluid, TR) […]

  4. […] Tempeste O’Riley (M/M, BI, Genderfluid, TR) […]

  5. […] Tempeste O’Riley (M/M, BI, Genderfluid, TR) […]

  6. […] « Hop Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia: Breaking through the walls we build […]

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