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May 17

Hop Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia: Breaking through the walls we build

Morning ya’ll! Today is the start of the Hop against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia! If you click on the button to the left, you will go directly to their page, but never fear, if you read to the end you will also find all the other lovely authors involved in this hop so you can participate!

The participants are offering prizes, yes, that means me too Winking smile, and if you’re up for a little bounce and travel, some reading on the topic, and playing along, then you can enter to win the prizes and maybe enjoy the journey a bit.

Before we begin, I thought I’d go head and let you know what I’m offering up for one lucky reader/commenter (the giveaway extends from Sunday, May 17th, to Wednesday, May 24th!)
* One copy of any of my eBooks from my backlist. Yes, it’s the winner’s choice—of book, and format
* Anyone who comments on THIS POST is eligible to win.
* Winner will be chosen by Mr. Random at 10 pm on the 27th.
* Winner will be announced in a separate post.
* This will not be the only post I make during this hop—on this topic—but you must comment on THIS POST for a chance to win. (Don’t worry, I’ll remind you in those later posts about this one.)

ho·mo·pho·bia noun \ˌhō-mə-ˈfō-bē-ə\
Definition of HOMOPHOBIA:
An irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals

* The same goes for biphobia, transphobia, and so much more.

Yes, you read that right. The official definition says it’s an irrational fear or aversion to US. To people being whom they were born to be. And while I’m not sure I agree (hate isn’t fear, it’s being an ass hat and hiding behind religious, societal, etc. excuses to hate, abuse, and even kill others) I will thank the dictionary for admitting that it’s irrational.

We as a society do the most harm to the individual. It’s that simple, yet it’s so much more than that. Humans like things in boxes. The problem is that so many people don’t fit in those boxes, the ones that others deem acceptable or real. Yes, we even argue over which boxes are valid, not just which ones we want to accept as okay.

I have to say a big Hell No to those that try to not only put me in boxes, but also tell me which boxes are real. I was recently asked what it is that draws straight women to read M/M books and I had to answer that I had no clue as I’m not either of those things. I am a omnisexual/pansexual (even less believed in that being bi :/ ) and genderfluid person. I happen to have been born with female bits, but that does not mean that’s who or what I am.

Boxes are things I both love and hate. Love them for storing things; hate them when others try to classify me. I’m not homosexual enough, being bi/omni/pan. I’m not straight enough, being bi/omni/pan. I’m not male enough, being I have girl parts. I’m not female enough, being I have many, many male days. I’m not trans as I have many girl days. I’m not cis, as… I have many boy days. And then you have those that don’t believe Bi even exists (your belief in me does not invalidate my existence, I promise).

Now, my experiences may skew my worldview, but from others I’ve met, the political fights going on across this, and many other countries, and the thousands of blogs and people out there, I don’t believe I’m unique. Instead of boxes and walls, we need to focus on the individual. Why does the body matter so much to others? And why do others feel they have the right to categorize, and then often dismiss, others?

Don’t assume what the person you are speaking to or about is what you think they are. That beautiful woman may be struggling because her body isn’t what matches her mind and spirit. That handsome man may have been born a woman. That pretty boy you assume is a gay twink might just be a straight man. And that big butch man? Yeah, he just might be a happy, dedicated bottom.

We build the walls that imprison us, and only we can make the change needed to tear them down. Take a moment to look around you and check out the walls and boxes you live in. Are they right? Are they restrictive? Do they even truly match who you are inside?

We are many individuals, not one singular society. We have many hearts and lives, not one collective experience. Never allow yourself to be placed in a box or hidden behind a wall—that goes for the boxes and walls we build ourselves. You can only be who you are, to be anything less would be to betray your very soul. Never let others (or self) force you to be something you are not.

We are individuals. We are people who have hearts and souls. We love, laugh, live, fight, and die. But we are not merely the labels others give. I am who I am, and that’s enough for me. If it’s not for others, that’s their loss as I will not hide my soul or allow others to hide it for me.

Want to Hop along?…

About the author

TempeO

Tempeste O’Riley grew up in the deep south and escaped her conservative, oppressive roots as soon as she could. Tempe is an out and proud omnisexual/bi-woman whose best friend growing up had the courage to do what she couldn’t – defy the hate and come out. He has been her hero ever since.

Though new to writing M/M, she has done many things in her life but writing has always drawn her back – no matter what else life has thrown her way. She counts her friends, family, and Muse as her greatest blessings in life.

26 comments

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  1. trish2144

    Couldn’t put it any better. 😉

  2. waxapplelover

    I loved this post..the definition really struck me in the beginning. Because really, what is there to fear about anything or anybody that is different?

  3. pat mackley

    Ignorant people are everywhere. When are they going to realise that being different is not going to hurt them.

  4. juliesmall1959

    Another eye opening post! Thank you so much.

  5. debby236

    These are great posts. I wish everyone would read them.

  6. suze294

    Another heartfelt post, thanks Tempeste

  7. Angela

    Thanks for this post and it is so true we humans are our own worst enemies, so sad really.

  8. Jewel

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and providing great info. It couldnt have been said better.

  9. Carly (Carly's Book Reviews)

    As a woman in her 30s who is just starting to figure out why I never quite fit in, this post inspires me to keep trying. Thank you, Tempe, for sharing from your heart. <3

  10. felinewyvern

    Well said. Thank you.

  11. Jenna Jaxon

    Great post! Tweeted.

  12. KimberlyFDR

    Thank you for your post and participating in this blog hop.

    kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com

  13. melissakeir

    My aunt was a lesbian during the time when those things weren’t talked about. I didn’t understand until many many years later exactly what was going on. My two brother in laws are both gay. They have partners yet aren’t allowed the same freedoms that many other couples are allowed. Sure makes me wonder why we need to put things in boxes!

  14. Cornelia

    Thanks for the informative post and Hop.

  15. Alaina

    Thanks for the great post and participating in the blog hop!
    aegger.echo(at)yahoo(dot)com

  16. Katherine

    Thank you for your post. It seems a human tendency to put other people in boxes.

    toastmasterkatherine@gmail.com

  17. Ree Dee

    Thank you for the great post! All this just makes me sad to see all the hatred in the world.

  18. Trix

    I don’t know why we can’t let people be themselves, full stop!

  19. AM Fasano

    Thanks for the great post and participating in the blog hop!

    annmarief115 at gmail dot com

  20. DS Kenn

    You’ve described it perfectly. I had commented on another’s post, trying to convey exactly that. I fit into no box, and I like it that way. After spending so many years trying, I’m me now. And it is completely irrelevant to me what people think. They don’t need to be okay with it. They really don’t need to give how I identify a second thought. Great post!

  21. Shirley Ann Speakman

    That was a wonderful post and thank you for the Giveaway.

    ShirleyAnn(at)speakman40(dot)freeserve(dot)co(dot)uk

  22. JT

    way to go! 🙂

  23. H.B.

    Great post. Thank you for taking part in the hop!

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

  24. Lee Todd

    great post! thanks for being part of the hop

    leetee2007(at)hotmail(dot)com

  25. bn100

    Thanks for joining; nice post

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

  26. sherry1969

    Thanks for such a wonderful post.
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

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