Morning and welcome to my entry in the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia (and Biphobia…). Each participant is offering prizes, including me, so make sure you bounce around and check out all the great posts and goodies!
The Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia (HAHAT) was created to spread awareness of homophobia, biphobia and transphobia, and to stand together as a writer community against discrimination of our works.
The giveaway extends from May 17th, to May 27th.
Anyone who comments on THIS POST is eligible to win (remember to leave your email so I can contact the winners).
Winner will be chosen by the randomizer at nine o’clock, CST, on the 27th.
I’ll announce the winner in a separate post.
Now for me, personally, I was exposed to a great deal of homophobia as a child, which made coming to terms with my own sexuality a bit hard, though having a best friend who was gay did make things a little easier, as at least I wasn’t completely alone in my personal struggles.
I was always terrified to ‘come out’ because of the homophobia of my family, school, church, etc. But what I’d like to also discuss is that even once I was out, I found a new form of “phobia” to have to deal with… Biphobia. It’s bad enough when you have to deal with stupidity, ignorance, fear, and hate out of the straight populace, but it’s—at least for me—worse when it’s coming at me from gay and lesbians for being bi.
See, I’m not greedy, I do know what commitment and honor are, and yes, I honestly find men, women, transgendered, androgynous, and gender fluid people to be sexy, both physically and emotionally (yes, you can be emotionally sexy, lol). Then to be told again and again that I’m either lying, trying to be cool and pretending, to scared too just ‘come out’, or that I’m undatable because I’d just cheat, was and still is heartbreaking.
For years I stayed out of community because I was so disheartened by these attitudes and blind generalizations. The thing I learned, eventually, is that in hiding away, all I really did was let the haters and bigots win and allow myself to be hurt. Yes, I just said something horrible (spank me ) but even gay and lesbians can be bigots. It was actually that same childhood friend I mentioned earlier that got me to stop and think about things a little more clearly. Why should I allow others to dictate my self-worth? My datability? My involvement in the GLBTQ community? When I pointed out how I’d been treated (by many people and groups in some cases) he argued that I was allowing others to hurt me when I didn’t have to. That the only way for many people to get over their misconceptions was to be shown that they’re wrong, and that even if most don’t change, there are people out there like me and that will accept me, if I’m strong enough to stand tall and refuse to hide any more.
At first, I wasn’t sold on this idea… I’d seen so many people hurt thanks to hate and ignorance, not just my own pain, but came to realize he was right. After a short time I decided that getting back in the swing of things was important and right for me. Best damn decision I’ve ever made (other than to have my kids—love my munchkins).
So, what’s the point to my ramblings? If you’re gay, straight, bi, trans, fluid, etc… don’t ever let anyone make you feel less lovable or worthy for being you. And if you have a problem with people that aren’t like you, do some soul searching to find out why. You might be missing out on the best friend, most wonderful lover, or most special family you could ever have, all because you allowed differences to fester into phobias. Do not allow anyone to ever have a say in your worth! Because you are you, and that’s all you ever need to be to be perfect.
Seeing as Desires’ Guardian releases on June 6th (and is available for pre-order now) I’ll share a little from it.
by Tempeste O’Riley
Desires Entwined book 2
Genre: M/M Contemporary Romance
Length: Novel / 200 pages
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: June 6th 2014
Formats: EBooks and Paperback
Most people see Chase Manning as the party-boy twink he seems on the surface. Only James, Chase’s BFF, knows the depth of his loyalty and the extent of the wounds Chase carries inside. When Chase meets Rhys Sayer things don’t go well, but he can’t shake his attraction to the huge, sexy man.
Rhys is a man of contradictions and fear—a strange combination for a PI and bodyguard. He’s in a bad place emotionally when he sets eyes on Chase for the first time. When Chase puts the moves on him, Rhys insults him, thwarting any possibility of a relationship. Rhys doesn’t see himself as a complicated man, but he dreads the very kind of connection he desires.
Just as they’re trying to overcome their uncertainties, Chase is put in harm’s way. Luckily Rhys and their friends have all the right talents to help Rhys save the man of his dreams.
The doorbell rang just as Mark’s cell demanded his attention. Chase bounded off to answer the door for Mark, smiling widely at being able to cook for others who would appreciate it. Cooking was his one hobby. One that few knew about and fewer still would believe.
His grin froze when he opened the door and found Rhys standing before him with a rather expensive bottle of brandy in his left hand.
“Uh….” His mind went completely blank. Why was Rhys here? Now?
“Hi, Chase.” Rhys extended his right hand. His smile was warm and open.
It took a moment, but his brain finally kicked in. Chase grasped Rhys’s hand. He gasped at the spark of heat that flashed through him when their hands met. “H-hello. I didn’t know you were coming to Mark’s for dinner tonight.”
Caught in Rhys’s gaze, Chase couldn’t seem to move away or say more.
Rhys’s lips turned down. “He convinced you to cook for him but didn’t tell you how many were coming for dinner? That doesn’t sound like Mark.”
Rhys released Chase’s hand, the slow slide of heated skin against his leaving Chase aching and flushed. When he blinked, Chase was able to look away and take a steadying breath.
Mark interrupted the awkward moment when he came into the foyer and smiled at Rhys. “Hey, man, glad you made it before her parents arrived. Thanks. You got Ryan’s preferred drink!”
“Of course. But, Mark, Chase says you didn’t put me on the guest list.”
“Yes, I did. I said three men and two women for dinner.” Mark looked at Chase with his head tilted slightly. “Are you picking on Rhys again?”
“I—you—” Chase huffed. “I don’t pick on Rhys,” he snapped, folding his arms tightly across his chest. “He picks on me. And no, I didn’t realize the extra seat was for him. Doesn’t matter. There’s plenty of food and wine for everyone. You”—Chase motioned to Rhys—“answer the door. And you”—pointing to Mark—“go entertain your girl and her family. As for me, I’ll be in the kitchen.” Chase snapped his mouth closed and fled through the kitchen door, hoping Rhys would not follow.
“But the doorbell didn’t—” Mark’s complaint was cut off by the sudden ding-dong of said doorbell.
“Don’t ask how he does that,” Rhys said. “I’ll get the door, since he’s the one giving the orders tonight.”
Chase heard Rhys move toward the door. An instant later, glasses clinked in the front room and voices he didn’t recognize were saying hello. Eternally thankful for interruptions and distractions, Chase continued the final prep for dinner. He caught himself rubbing the palm of his right hand nervously down his thigh, which only served to annoy him more. “Shouldn’t react to him like that, dammit!” he swore under his breath.
Every time Rhys’s laugh wafted in from the other room, he bit back a groan. Chase hated how his groin tightened and his cock sat up every time. “He’s not even that cute,” he continued to grumble.
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