Apr 02

Bullying = Abuse and Terrorism

Let’s start by looking at some definitions of just exactly what a “bully” is:

  • A person who hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people.
  • A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.
  • Persistent unwelcome behavior, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, and much more.
  • A form of abuse.

As the last definition states, bullying is abuse, but really it’s abuse and terrorism combined. It’s not just a kids thing. It’s not a ‘boys will be boys’ thing. It’s a very real and oft-times deadly form of abuse against the body, mind, and soul of the victim.

But, you know what’s worse than bullying?

Knowing about the abuse and doing nothing to stop it. While it’s true, you can’t stop everyone determined to hurt others, you can speak up, speak out against the hate, fear, and ignorance that takes the lives and souls of people, even young children, every year.

BULLY is a documentary, only available at the moment in limited run, that shows how prevalent this epidemic is and how it can destroy the lives of those bullies, as well as their friends and families when things escalate to suicide or murder.

I would urge you, whether you can watch BULLY yet or not, to find out more about what you can do to help stop the abuse. Take a stand!

* Hands and Words Are Not For Hurting Project – http://handsproject.org/

* The Anti-Bully Blog – http://antibullyingblog.blogspot.com/

* http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm has some great articles on school, family, and workplace bullying and what you can do about it.

About the author


Tempeste O’Riley grew up in the deep south and escaped her conservative, oppressive roots as soon as she could. Tempe is an out and proud omnisexual/bi-woman whose best friend growing up had the courage to do what she couldn’t – defy the hate and come out. He has been her hero ever since.

Though new to writing M/M, she has done many things in her life but writing has always drawn her back – no matter what else life has thrown her way. She counts her friends, family, and Muse as her greatest blessings in life.


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  1. Jennifer Lowery (Kamptner)

    I am so on board with anti-bullying! It’s time we put a stop to it! Good for you to get this message out 🙂

    1. TempeO

      Thanks Jennifer. It’s such a prevalent issue that so few want to even acknowledge, much less deal with.
      Each voice against adds to the hole and maybe with enough knowledge and support, we can help the victims… or better, help stop it before the harm happens.

  2. Carrie Ann Ryan

    You are awesome for posting this. Its not okay to say “Its just because they’re kids so its okay”.

    I’m scared to death of having kids sometimes because of this issue (among many others)

    1. TempeO

      You just have to remember to teach them how and support them when they need to stand against bullies. The biggest problem is that so many ignore the bullying or don’t do anything even if they do acknowledge it. But, you re such a strong woman, I’m sure you can manage just fine (and will be a kick ass mom).

  3. ebondreams

    Thank you for this. With young children of my own, this is a worry. I want them safe. No one should be bullied.


    1. TempeO

      It’s so disheartening to know that you can’t be with them all the time, to protect them from this kind of abuse. But, I’m sure you’re outspoken and will fight for your kids! Thanks for dropping in.

      1. ebondreams

        Yes I am. I talk to my little ones all the time too. So..just make sure they are safe. They are 6 and 8

  4. Brenda

    Nothing gets me more riled up then bullying. And I totally agree–the only thing worse than a bully is those who know about it but chose to do nothing!

    1. TempeO

      Thanks for stopping by, Brenda.
      Ignorance can be corrected, but indifference? That’s just evil in cases like this.

  5. Skye Warren

    Bullying is such a tough topic. I think it’s because ultimately bullies are our children and we don’t want to think ill of them. Often it’s not that stereotypical bully either, but smaller comments that can have a lasting impact on another child.

    1. TempeO

      Oh, I agree whole heartily. It’s also often not seen by any but the abused. The notes, texts, whispers, and snide comments can pile up and bring about devastating results.
      If you are told you’re ugly, stupid, unlovable, unwanted, … enough, you tend to believe it, especially if you are young.
      Thanks for stopping by Skye (I love that name).

  6. Maggie O'Malley

    Like I’ve always told my kids…If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. Great post.

    1. TempeO

      Thanks Maggie! That is so true and often it’s not hard to be a part of the solution. Speak up.
      Also, try to think about what you say and do to others, accidental harm doesn’t hurt any less.

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