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Jul 05

#BDSM #BlogHop 2015

Bondage & Discipline, Domination & submission, Sadism & Masochism

BDSM encompasses so many things. It’s understandable why someone who has never participated in it might be confused about what it truthfully entails. We’d like to set that straight. For every person involved in what we call the Lifestyle, there’s a different way of doing things. However, no matter where you go, you’ll encounter a few basic tenets and the folks who are participating in our blog hop would like to show you how some of these things really work.

Welcome to this years BDSM Blog Hop! The hop will run for a full week and yes, I will be posting more than once. One of the things I try to do in my writing is give everyone a chance at love. Period. In December of last year, I published “Caged Sanctuary” my first BDSM romance. I hate the word first in this case as I actually consider “Designs of Desire” to be my first, but there is a misconception that many have. There is the incorrect belief that BDSM is all about abuse. There is also a strange belief many outside the Life have that says only hard core pain, servitude, bondage, etc. is real BDSM.  (Oh, and yes, Designs has it’s kink, lol, just look at the follow up, “Bound by Desire” for their collaring Winking smile) I have a major problem with that, but I’ll get on that soapbox another time, lol.

Sometimes a person is submissive, but either won’t or can’t do the harder things. That doesn’t mean a Dom into sensation play isn’t a real Dom simply because he doesn’t use a flogger or paddle. There is only one right way to live the Life, a BDSM one…. Do you know what it is? It’s all about what is right for the participants. Not what others want. Not what you saw or read or dreamt. The only right way to participate in a scene or lifestyle is the do what feels good, what excites and satisfies the participants.

And, since many of you know about my mobility and joint issues (which yes, has sparked more than one MC in my stories, lol), I’d like to add the following questions to the mix. What do you do if the sub that’s caught your eye happens to have a disability? What if the submissive has suffered abuse or has PTSD? What if you have to make accommodations for the sub? Do you pass him or her over simply because they aren’t able to do things the way you are accustomed to requiring of your boy/girl/pet/etc.?

Or…. What if the Dom has the disability? What if s/he can’t or won’t do certain things because of their health, past, etc? These are things I believe often get lost in the fun and kink of it all for some. In “Caged Sanctuary”, Kade is a sub who lost the use of his legs thanks to being gay bashed. He’s a strong man, but as far as being a sub, he doesn’t believe he is desirable to a Dom. He can’t kneel, he can’t stand, he can’t do…. fill in the blank. But when he finds a Dom that wants him, that doesn’t care about the accommodations and such, he’s afraid to believe. I’ve included a little teaser of right after the first time Kade truly get’s to fly, and gets to see for himself that he’s still the same submissive he was before, and that yes, he can still serve.

Excerpt

Deacon chuckled at how eager his boy was to see himself all trussed up. Smiling, he excused himself and returned shortly with his laptop. He had downloaded the images from his digital camera and had the shots ready for Kade in the photo viewer.

“I took three. One before we began but after you were decorated and bound with the ropes, the other two are later.”

“Why two later?” Kade stared at the computer, not taking his eyes off it, though Deacon hadn’t turned it so he could see the images.

“Let me show you. I think it will be obvious why when you see them.” Deacon settled on the bed next to Kade and turned the screen so Kade could see. The first was as he’d stated, of Kade tied to the bamboo pole, taken at an angle to see how open Kade was in that position, the intricate latticework of the silk ropes, and how he was blindfolded with his arms bound above him.

The next drew a gasp from Kade. He was in the same position, but the hand prints from the initial spanking and the flogging of his back were clear in the shot, as was how he strained his arms and back up as if seeking another strike. “That’s….”

“Gorgeous? Sexy as hell?”

Kade nodded as he reached out to trace one finger down the spine and along the legs of his image. “I don’t look broken like this.”

Deacon knew he was frowning, but didn’t care. “You’re not broken, Kaden. I would happily throttle the asshats that convinced you otherwise.”

“And the last one?” Kade asked, showing no sign of having heard Deacon.

“The last one is my favorite of the lot.” Deacon tapped the pad on the laptop again and the image changed.

Again, Kade hadn’t really moved much, but now the cane striping was clear on. His back was also streaked with Deacon’s spend. He had promised himself he wouldn’t enter Kade that way the first time in scene, but he’d been so hard he hurt and couldn’t resist adding his come to the beautiful marks on his boy. In Deacon’s personal opinion, Kade was the most beautiful sub he had had or seen.

“Oh, my…. You can see that I’m flying, my tears,” Kade whispered, voice reverent.

The odd watery tone made Deacon look at Kade again. When he did, he realized tears streaked Kade’s cheeks. “Oh, my sweet boy, why are you crying?”

“Never thought I’d fly again, much less be able to serve like this.” Kade quickly wiped at his eyes, turning away from Deacon. “Sorry.”

Deacon took a firm hold of Kade’s chin, pulling gently until Kade faced him. “Do not ever, and I do mean ever, apologize for being you. For serving me so perfectly. For feeling joy. Tears are not a sign of weakness,” he added when Kade seemed confused. “Your joy, your pain, your pleasure, all belong to me whether I’m right there with you or not. You’re my boy now.” Deacon dipped his head to take Kade’s lips in a soft kiss, hoping to show his boy how much he was wanted and how much he pleased Deacon both in and out of scene.

© 2014 Tempeste O’Rilely

Giveaway

I’m offering up an ecopy of any of my backlist to a random commenter who leaves a note with their comment/submission (pun intended, lol) that tells me what they believe makes BDSM the fun, sexy, passion it is for so many.

Also…. There’s a BlogHop Grandprize….

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

To follow along with the hop (and for more chances to win some great goodie) visit….

About the author

TempeO

Tempeste O’Riley grew up in the deep south and escaped her conservative, oppressive roots as soon as she could. Tempe is an out and proud omnisexual/bi-woman whose best friend growing up had the courage to do what she couldn’t – defy the hate and come out. He has been her hero ever since.

Though new to writing M/M, she has done many things in her life but writing has always drawn her back – no matter what else life has thrown her way. She counts her friends, family, and Muse as her greatest blessings in life.

11 comments

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  1. Sheryl Howard

    I think for many in the lifestyle it is the connection between Dom and submissive. The ability to lose themselves in one another.

  2. parisfanca

    for me it can be a fun way to make things intresting and allows for a deeper sense of trust too

  3. Denise Dechene

    BDSM fascinates me because of the depth of trust between the Dom/sub. As for a favorite, I have so many..Sean MIchael, LM Somerton, Jessie G, Rain Carrington, SJD Peterson, KC Wells, AC Katt, Patricia Logan, CB Conwy, and Thianna D.

  4. juliesmall1959

    I feel that the trust between the people is the most fascinating thing to read about!

  5. Trix

    I love it as a way to examine the dynamic between characters!

    1. Trix

      As for favorite BDSM stories, Lynn Lorenz’s THE BEST VACATION THAT NEVER WAS is pretty cool!

  6. Jennifer

    The level of trust is what draws me into the stories. Some of my favorites: AJ Rose & CB Conway. Thanks for the chance!

  7. Angela

    I think for a lot of people who are in a BSDM relationship it is about giving up control or to actually have control. i’ve read somewhere that mostly for the people who are in such a relationship it is about letting go of the burdens of real life. And you must really trust the person you are with 🙂

  8. bn100

    not knowing what happens

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

  9. shadowluvs2read

    For me, its because people can be..so free. Let there hair down, have fun, experiment, no judgements, etc. Its incredibly freeing. Thank you! Have a great night!
    shadowluvs2read(at)gmail(dot)com

  10. sula22

    There is a certain level of fantasy involved, role play and acting out a scene. Then again being given control over another person’s can feel very empowering and that they will not only willingly but gladly submit to your will, can be very exciting. Then the opposite of giving control to someone else is a freeing experience and high level of trust is needed by both. Thank you for this blog hop and for a chance to win one of your books slholland22 {at} hotmail {dot} com

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