You Are Perfect Just As You Are.
Because Love Sees No Gender.™

BDSM and the disabled sub…

Bondage & Discipline, Domination & submission, Sadism & Masochism

BDSM encompasses so many things. It’s understandable why someone who has never participated in it might be confused about what it truthfully entails. We’d like to set that straight. For every person involved in what we call the Lifestyle, there’s a different way of doing things. However, no matter where you go, you’ll encounter a few basic tenets and the folks who are participating in our blog hop would like to show you how some of these things really work.

Welcome to the BDSM Blog Hop. Today I would like to talk about the disabled submissive. What happens when the person who is a sub, loves to serve, loves the flogger, cane, etc., can no longer kneel or feel their extremities? That’s the very subject I have been researching and writing about lately.

As many of you know, I have mobility issues and use forearm crutches. Even that isn’t working for me all the time as my joints continue to fail, and so a wheelchair becomes more and more needed. However, what if it wasn’t the joints, but paralysis? What if you couldn’t feel your legs anymore? Couldn’t use them any longer? How would you deal with that as a sub?

I have researched ways around this issue both by chatting with subs, contacting a Dom, and doing a ton of reading and creative imagining. Even though I do still walk and fully feel, I cannot kneel, which drives me crazy. There are so many things that require knees, lol.

On the flip side of that, what do you do if the sub that’s caught your eye happens to have a disability? Do you pass him or her over simply because they aren’t able to do things the way you are accustomed to requiring of your boy/girl/pet/etc.?

In my current WIP, I am exploring this very topic. In Deacon’s case—my lovely Dom—he isn’t willing to give up on the shy, sexy man that catches his eye simply because he is in a chair. But, Kade—my sweet but stubborn sub—doesn’t believe any Dom will want him. Coming up with ways to take the leg issue out of the scene has been tons of fun to research!

What if, instead of strapping your boy into a standing X frame to flog or cane, you used silk rope and bound him in such a way that his lack of standing was a moot point? That works, right? However, there’s so much more to a loving D/s relationship than the delicious sex! In Deacon’s case, he found ways to allow his boy to serve, to feel safe and cherished, to fulfill both their wants and needs.

Beanbag chairs with backs, shibari, padded tables or benches, cock cages, and more are simple ways a Dom can help his or her sub be who they truly are, without allowing their disability to take that part of their life from them. What would you do if your sub lost their mobility or even their legs? How could you help them still be the loving, dedicated sub and lover they were before?

Giveaway

I’m offering up an ecopy of any of my backlist to a random commenter who answers the last question above…

Now, head on to the rest of the HOP!